tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3778521335346901337.post5650482488508883700..comments2023-06-26T17:05:14.194+01:00Comments on D4Dementia: Challenging stereotypes about families and care homesBethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09727279217918012517noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3778521335346901337.post-1117035956009659892014-07-29T10:27:02.980+01:002014-07-29T10:27:02.980+01:00Thank you for sharing your experience. Your story ...Thank you for sharing your experience. Your story highlights a lot of the difficult emotional and financial issues when a loved one needs the support of a care home environment. I think most of us feel entirely unprepared for the many challenges that can arise when a loved one cannot live at home, especially if, as in your situation, your mother's health suddenly deteriorated. Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09727279217918012517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3778521335346901337.post-52305536451472956472014-07-28T08:43:13.593+01:002014-07-28T08:43:13.593+01:00"Neither my father nor us as his family were ..."Neither my father nor us as his family were given a choice about dad’s care: his doctors decided that he would be a danger to himself and to others if he returned home after hospitalisation for a larger stroke that had led to a diagnosis of vascular dementia."<br /><br />It was exactly the same in my experience with my mum, Beth. It didn't stop me feeling guilty though - it's like my head was telling me one thing but then I felt a deep feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me that she should be home with me and with everything that was familiar to her throughout her whole life. It was a year last Saturday that mum passed away in the care home and I'm crying right now. Asked for my mother's medical records which I picked up the other day and was shocked to read that a review had taken place in January 2013, her care plan had been 'updated' to palliative and a DNAR note had been put against her without my knowledge - even though she was incapable of making that decision herself and as the only next-of-kin I had power of attorney over her affairs. My ultimate hope was that she'd somehow recover to a stage where I'd be able to give up work and look after her at home, but her death happened very unexpectedly and quickly. Part of me feels that if I had taken her out of the nursing home and I hadn't been able to meet her needs adequately and she'd had to go back in then we would have lost the NHS continuing care as putting her in a home would have then been my choice as POA on behalf of mum. As mum's late stage dementia was sudden-onset following a hip fracture we didn't have time to prepare for anything and she was still householder when it happened. Originally they wanted to take the house as an asset to pay for mum's nursing home fees (which put me in a very difficult position as I don't have anywhere else to live). However, when I got solicitors involved to look into the case, they called a medical review panel and it was found that she met the criteria for continuing health care. Like many people I was in a catch 22 but (also like many people) events overtook everything in a way that I didn't have the imagination to foresee. Sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense - it was a complex story.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3778521335346901337.post-37867811152647691252014-07-10T16:10:15.433+01:002014-07-10T16:10:15.433+01:00I agree. Making care homes focal points in the com...I agree. Making care homes focal points in the community, truly integrated and part of intergenerational living is what we should be aiming for. The Dementia4Schools project is helping to improve the links between schools and people with dementia, but lots more still to be done.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09727279217918012517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3778521335346901337.post-56946625070333275212014-07-08T10:22:45.475+01:002014-07-08T10:22:45.475+01:00The idealist in me wishes there could be housing w...The idealist in me wishes there could be housing which encompasses intergenerational options which may include villages not just for people with dementia but with houses, flats and schools surrounding a dementia care home. I would love primary and secondary schools to have projects which include children visiting care homes regularly. The care home should be as essential as the community centre. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com